It never ends
by LissaRae787
Summary: It killed me seeing them together everyday, When he touched her, kissed her, hell even when he looked at her. This was not how it was supposed to be, Love. He told me he loved me and I just froze, I don't know what happened.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Isabella Swan but I prefer to be called Bella and this is my life....

It all started when my parents divorced when I was young and my mom took me away from my dad and his small home town Forks, its the wettest place in the United States. Well after spending a few summers here I decided I absolutely hated it, which is why I am starting to question myself about my decision to move back here. That is until I saw him..... he was just standing there next to my dads house when we drove up, he was so beautiful with his bronze colored hair and perfect body, from then on I knew I had to have him. And that's just what happened, I had him and I lost him. We were perfect. Or I thought we were, I don't know whats wrong with me.

I love you to.

How hard is it to say? I know I love him, I just... I guess I'm just afraid and now its to late.

_Flashback_

_"Bella"_

_"Edward"_

_"Bella, I'm in love with you" Oh my GOD i've been waiting for this for so long..._

_"Edward I" What are you doing say something._

_"I" Say it I LOVE YOU TO its not that hard_

_"I cant do this"_

End

And I just ran.

The next day he broke up with me, he said he didn't want to be with someone who couldn't commit and that he didn't mean what he said.

It felt like I couldn't breathe like my whole world just stopped, I was there but not really there.

So here I am first day of senior year in the student parking lot standing all alone by my old beat up red truck looking at where I was suppossed to be, by Edward and by all my friends I haven't talked to since a few days after the break up. Oh yeah all my friends hated me for breaking their brothers and best friends heart and ditched me at the beginning of the summer.

_Flashback_

_"How could you just not say anything Bella" My supposed best friend Alice said to me_

_"I don't know what happened Alice" And I really didn't_

_"Well I think I know what happened....you found someone else and you were just using Edward for his money and popularity you stupid caniving bitch I never wanna see your face anywhere near me, Edward, or any of my family again!" Rosalie pretty much screamed in my face_

_"Rosalie" Alice tried to come to my defense_

_"What Alice you know it and I know it hell I even think Bella knows it, She's never been good enough for him" It's true I never was enough I'm just stupid_

_"Get off your high horse Rose, Bella is perfect for Edward in every single way!" I wish Alice would stop defending me, Its making me feel worse_

_"ugh Whatever lets just go Alice, Have a nice summer Bella, just remember you broke him, and now he's not the same"_

_I am such an idiot, I wish I never moved to this God forsaken place. I wish I could of told him what was really going on with me, why I am afraid to say it back._

End

And that was the last time I talked to anyone of them, Alice tried to call a few times but after about 8 tries and me ignoring them or not answering back they just stopped. So now I have to go through everything alone, I have Charlie but we've been distant for a while now, I think he's scared to say something that will upset me or maybe he's just scared for me. I wish I could just go back to when everything was perfect in my life.

**-Ok so this** **is my first story. Should I continue? yes/no? **


	2. Chapter 2

Previously

And that was the last time I talked to anyone of them, Alice tried to call a few times but after about 8 tries and me ignoring them or not answering back they just stopped. So now I have to go through everything alone, I have Charlie but we've been distant for a while now, I think he's scared to say something that will upset me or maybe he's just scared for me. I wish I could just go back to when everything was perfect in my life.

**Chapter 2**

Today has been all that I thought it was gonna be........Hell. Well not hell, imagine hell mixed in with the worst pain ever invented and... with a head ache. My classes are pretty easy except for the fact that I had Edward or one of his friends in every single one of my classes:

1st period: Government: Edward, Edward's new slut Tanya and Emmet

2nd period: AP History: Jasper

3rd period: Spanish: Emmet, Rosalie, and Edward

4th period: Lunch: With all of them

5th period: Biology: Edward

6th period: Trigonometry: Alice and Edward

7th period: Gym: Tanya and Rosalie

And finally since I am a complete idiot I have to stay an extra 45 minutes after school for a college prep class that drum roll please........ I signed up with at the end of last year with Edward and that's not even the best part since we signed up together we get to be partners the whole year.

Yippie, I knew my senior year was gonna be the best year Ever!

Well I am right now in my college prep class, we get to leave early since its the first day and all we gotta do is get our syllabus and list of all the books we need to get. Luckily Edward decided to ditch this class, but lucky me, since I'm his lab partner gets to bring his list and syllabus to his house. I totally love my life!

Well now I'm in my truck driving to his house.

I don't know what to do, should I knock and run, leave them by the front door or put them in the mailbox. Looks like I don't get a choice because I guess he heard my truck because he is opening the door.

"What do you want Bella?" You.

"Bella I don't have time for this" Why is it I always get tongue tied at the worst possible moments?

"Ugh, are you just gonna stand there in silence or do you have something to say" I don't know

"Well I'm gonna go back inside" Wait no

"W-wait, I-I just came by to d-drop off your papers for our college class" God why did I stuttre, Just kill me now

"Ohh, well I'm still debating taking that class since..." since he doesn't wanna be near you

"Oh yeah, that makes sense, Its ok I can just do the class without a partner since all the kids are paired up.... but here is your papers, they say your personal information on them, so just like shred them or something" I can't believe him, How am I supposed to do a college level class set for partners by myself? I guess this is the other half of my punishment.

"Well I'm just gonna go" I say to him and then get back into my truck and drive as fast as my truck will let me out of there.

When I'm pulling in my driveway I see next door my most favorite neighbors are pulling into their driveway

"God I wish we would move already" Rosalie said just loud enough for me to hear

"Babe lets go inside already I'm starving" Emmet, I'm kinda thankful for him, He's Edward's older brother, but he never really did anything bad to me after the break up.

"Ugh whatever lets go" Pissed off Rosalie is just mad because she can't say shit to me anymore

Oh great Jasper, He's Edward's best friend, He's actually the nicest

"Hey" He waves over to me

"Hi" I answer shyly I never know what to say to him

"I'm sorry for my sister she's been bitchy lately"

"Pfft lately? Oh sorry" Oh great here comes the blush

"Don't be I agree with you" What? Are me and Japer Whitlock actually having a conversation?

"Well I better get dinner started for Charlie" I turn to leave but

"Hey Bella" I turn back around and he's right in front of me

"Whoa you walk fast"

"Oh I'm sorry, Alice just wanted me to give this to you, please just take it, she misses you you know" Jasper hands me a piece of paper thats probably a note

"I know, and can you tell her that I'm sorry, and that I miss her to" This time he walks away first

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"BELLA" I hear Charlie yell from the front door

"Yeah dad"

"Just making sure your home" Where else would I be?

"Oh OK, I'm in the kitchen" where I'm 50% of the time

"Hey Bells, how was your first day of senior year!?" He says enthusiastically while kissing the top of my head

"It was good, I like all my teachers" I try to say as enthusiastic but come up a little on the dry side

"That's good, just remember you have a doctors appointment tomorrow at 4pm"

"I know, I'm leaving right after my last class gets out don't worry. Will you be there?"

"Yes I'll be there around 4:15ish, if I'm late don't worry" Right like I would really care, I'd rather him not be there, Its to depressing for me to even be there why make him depressed to

"Dad you don't have to go, I'm gonna be 18 in like 2 weeks, I'm a big girl, I can handle a little chemo by myself" I try to make it into a joke

"Dammit Isabella, Why do you do that"

"Do what dad?"

"Make it into a joke, you having cancer is not a joke" He looks so sad

"Don't you think I know that? God Charlie don't you think I know how serious this is?" I'm on the verge of tears now, great

"You never act like it"

"Did you ever think I'm trying to forget? Or try to keep myself from breaking down, I have no one, I have you and thats it no mom, no friends, no Edward, Nobody, to help me through this" My knees start to shake now.

"Bella what happened to your mom is not gonna happen to you, she was to late to find the cancer, your not"

The next few seconds are kinda getting fuzzy then I hear a loud bang

"BELLA, OH GOD BELLA" Is that Charlie? Why is he screaming my name? Why do I smell blood?

-Sorry. I have been soo busy-


	3. Chapter 3

Previously

"Bella what happened to your mom is not gonna happen to you, she was to late to find the cancer, your not"

The next few seconds are kinda getting fuzzy then I hear a loud bang

"BELLA, OH GOD BELLA" Is that Charlie? Why is he screaming my name? Why do I smell blood?

**Chapter 3**

I woke up 2 days later in the hospital.

"Charlie, Dad, hello is anyone there?"  
Wheres my dad?

"Oh Bella I was so worried"  
Wow he looks tired

"W-what happened? Why am I here?"  
I was really confused the last thing I remember is talking about my doctors appointment.

"Your blood sugar was really low from all the medication you're taking and you blacked out, you really scared me Bells"

"Ohh…. What day is it?"

"It's Saturday"  
Whoa I'm soo glad school started on a Thursday

"Wait, Saturday? What about my appointment?"

"I think they'll understand Bells, besides I called them and they just said that the doctors here can give the chemo."  
Oh great I really hope its not

"Hey there Bella"  
Fantastic, my favorite doctor, as in Edward Cullen's father

"Hi "  
This is embarrassing

"How are you feeling?"  
How do you think I'm feeling

"Tired, I have a headache, and a little nauseous"

"Well the first two are to be expected, but I haven't given you anything to feel nauseous for"  
Maybe its because I'm around my ex-boyfriends dad getting chemo for the cancer that only one other person knows about.

"Hey Bells, are you going to be alright alone for a little bit? I have to go into the station, things are chaos there without me"  
Great the one time I need him here

"Yeah, I'll be fine"  
And by fine I mean extremely anxious

"Ok, so I'll be back in a little while"

"Alright, bye dad"  
And there goes the safety net

"Now Bella I am going to be unprofessional for a minute"  
Perfect

"So it says you found out about your cancer, 2 months ago, am I right?"

"Yeah, and your point?"  
I really didn't want to talk about this

"Why didn't you tell me, I could have been your doctor? Does Edward know? Does anyone one know?"  
Geeze am I under an interrogation?

"I didn't want to worry you and no he doesn't know, my dad is the only one who knows"

"Isabella don't ever think about worrying me, your like a daughter to me, is this why you and Edward broke up?"  
Here comes the water works

"Maybe"

"Why would you do that, he could of helped you through this, he loves you, you know?"  
God of course I know

"I didn't want him to get attached, the less ties you have with people the better"

"Bella why do you think that?"  
Well maybe because I have a chance of DYING

"Um I don't know, what if I d-die?"

"Bella, your not going to die, your cancer is in the early stages and after surgery I'm 80% sure you'll be cancer free"  
Yeah but that's still 20% that it wont be.

"I know I'm just scared to show that I'm scared"

"Its OK Bella, let us take care of you,and it would make me feel extremely relieved if you let me be your doctor, because I don't trust anyone elses skills on you?

"OK I guess that will be good, but you have to promise me one thing"

"Anything"

"Do not tell Edward!"

"OK now you have to promise me something"

"What?"

"When I ask you thins question you have to be absolutly honest!"

"OK I promise"

"Are you in love with Edward?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Sunday went by uneventful, I came home and went to bed and slept till like 5am Monday morning....

Charlie insisted I stay home from school for at least a day but to be honest he was starting to get annoying so I decided to just go.

So that's where I am right now first period Government, I can feel his gaze on me and it gives me the chills, I want to return the gaze but I can't, were not together anymore. So instead I just put my head down and think about the conversation I had with Dr. Cullen.

_Flashback_

_"OK I guess that will be good, but you have to promise me one thing"_

_"Anything"_

_"Do not tell Edward!"_

_"OK now you have to promise me something"_

_"What?"_

_"When I ask you this question you have to be absolutely honest!"_

_"OK I promise"_

_"Are you in love with Edward?"_

_End of Flashback_

I kept replaying those 6 words in my head all damn day. 'Are you in love with Edward? Are you in love with Edward? Are you in love with Edward?' Of course I was in love with Edward… How could anyone not see that I was in love with Edward. But I couldn't tell him that, I couldn't risk him or myself the pain that would most likely come if and when my cancer came back. I had to protect him. I had to protect everybody that I loved most. I was feeling sick so I went up to go to the bathroom when suddenly I fall to the floor after tripping on a certain someone's stupid ugly foot.

"Shit"

That's going to bruise later...

And then the whole class starts to laugh...

"Oh oops Bella I am so sorry I don't even know what to say" Tanya fake apologized to me

"Oh its ok" no its not "I know it was an accident" Yeah right bitch, I look up to see Edward, he looks like he wants to help me but Tanya is right there so he just looks away. Today is just going to be an awesome day...

My next few classes go by rather quickly, and now it's my favorite period of all lunch... hint the sarcasm. Last year I sat by all of them, my friends, Edward and now Tanya sits in my seat and I sit all alone at another table. Mike Newton always tries to sit by me, but today I think he finally got the hint that I want to be alone. Well technically I want to sit with Edward but it's my fault, I should of never broke up with him...

After lunch ends I start walking to Biology my one class that I have alone with him. When I walk in the room I notice that pretty much everyone is paired up in lab tables. I walk up to the teacher and he tells me that he assigned lab partners on Friday. Great and its just my luck that Edward is the only one without a partner. Can my luck get any better?

So I walk up to the teacher and he confirms what I already knew. Edward and I were going to be lab partners for the rest of the year. I go sit down and of course he ignores me, but what did I expect?

God this is awkward... I can feel his eyes on me. Can he just stop staring its hard enough that I have to sit next to him, but for him to look at me, its extremely painful not to stare back.

"Bella are you ok you look really pale like paler than usual?" Holy crap Edward just talked to me.

"U-um yea I'm f-fine j-just feeling a little nauseous..." Why do I always stutter when I'm around him? I always feel like I can't breathe.

Is it hot in here or is it just me? I feel like its 100 degrees. I am definitely going to take my sweat shirt off...

"Bella! What are all those bruises on your arm?" Edward said panicky

"Umm I fell again..." He would believe that, he always used to say that I should be in one of those protective bubbles like bubble boy cause I fall all the time.

"It doesn't look like you just fell, why did you have an IV in your arm?" How would he know that

"How do you know it's from an IV?"

"Ugh because my dad's a fricken doctor" He sounded really frustrated

"Ummm....." What do I say to that?

"Geeze cant you ever just fucking talk to me? Like I mean one day its perfect and then the next I say I fucking love you and I knew you felt the same way but then you just ran away?

"Umm"

_**BEEEEEEEP **_

Saved by the bell

"I got to go" I say and I stand up and try to get out of there as fast as I could but of course I fall, and this time Edward actually can help me up.

"Damn it, you got to be more careful when you walk"

He helped me up and held me in his arms for just a second longer than necessary and then he walked away. Call me crazy but that was the best second I've had in a long time.

-**Sorry... I have been sooo busy- **


End file.
